This post is purely from my perspective. Another person with similar limitations is bound to have a different outlook of his or her life.
I know what I’m capable of, and what my limitations are. It’s one of the perks of getting older. In many ways, this knowledge is comforting to have. Nonetheless, there are some ridiculous disadvantages to this too.
I am fully aware that there are people who think that I’m delusional, that no one really knows what their potential is.
Don’t misunderstand. I do not feel that I have been gypped in anyway. In fact, I feel that I’ve been given an advantage, a blessing. All those “bad times” have enriched my life. They have given me insight that I don’t think many people have.
This puts us back where I started here: I know what my capabilities and limitations are.
Those Ridiculous Drawbacks
Although my perception is wide, that doesn’t mean it’s not infallible. Partly because of the “bad times”, I am way too cautious. I may be well aware of what I am able to accomplish, but I have problems enduring the opinions of what others may or may not think of what I’m achieving or trying to achieve.
I can acknowledge these views if they are my own, however. But to deal with them from others is excruciating for me. Often, when I come up against these judgments from others, I will automatically put whatever I’m trying to do aside until the psychological pain subsides.
No, I don’t give up unless I can clearly see that my limitations make the feat impossible. However, even then I am still believing I can make it happen. Still, when it appears to be too difficult, I will wait years to try once again. Why? I believe that, in most cases, what looks impossible from one angle is very probable from another. The trick is to be able to find the angle that works before you die.
Pause for Note
Am I beginning to sound like I’m as great a person as, say, Helen Keller? Do not think this! My disability is minor stuff compared to what that woman had to endure. In addition, her intelligence went way beyond what I could even hope to have.
The Mechanics of It
The people who have the worse time comprehending my restrictions are adults. It isn’t that they aren’t capable of understanding. Pure and simple, their misguided beliefs get in the way.
Some will think that the disability is in all they can see when they look at me. Some are convinced that what is wrong with me is a mental illness. Still others will have notions that go completely of the charts, believing wholeheartedly that I have Muscular Dystrophy, Cerebral Palsy, or some other syndrome or chronic health problem that is totally unrelated.
- My brain has been injured. This is something that has happened to me physically. Although it has happened in what most would call my mind, it is not a mental illness.
- The disability seen when you look at me has nothing to do with muscles. In fact, it doesn’t have anything to do with what you are seeing. The muscles may be quite weak and the bones may not be quite as strong, but the actual functioning of these parts is just fine. The entire disability is all in my head. . . literally. The nerves in my brain have been injured beyond repair. My brain cannot tell parts of my body what to do anymore. The communication lines have been severed.
- What has happened in my brain has made it necessary for the nerves that still work to find another route to send the signals I need to function. This is especially true about how I think and come to conclusions. It may first appear to have something to do with mental illness, but what is happening is my brain has found a different way to process what it’s receiving and send it back out again.
Finally, the Potential
Things are happening in the field of science all the time. Unfortunately, because the disability is in the brain, the progress toward solving the problems I have is at a snail pace at best. The brain is still pretty much a mystery.
Nevertheless, there aren’t any reasons why I should give up trying to make strides in my life. Most things I have accomplished so far are of a very personal nature, and I can’t see anyone else being at all interested in them.
However, with each victory I have, no matter how insignificant, creates strength within myself that is going to help me have the courage to try things that are new to me. This isn’t all that great of a feat to perform as far as how I feel about it. There are many people throughout the world who are doing the same thing in their own ways.
Stuff at the End
I don’t want anyone pitying me. The only way I know to try to prevent and/or remedy this, is to tell people as much as they can handle about what goes on with me. If I can find the right words, I may just write a few more posts about this in the future. Also, I need to muster up the courage. It doesn’t come naturally to me.
Has this helped you understand a little more? Do you have questions you’d like me to answer? Write it all in the comment section.